The History of Metal pt I

What came first, Man or Metal?

This is a very interesting question for several reasons, one might say that Man came first and Metal wasn't started for many years. Others may say that there is actual metal in the Earth therefore Metal came first. To those who say the latter I say shut the f*ck up you smart ass before I actually kill you. Back to my point...Metal is more than a style, a look or a type of music, its also more than a compound forged by natural elements. I say Metal is all around us in everyday life whether you choose to accept this or not, you are a Metal Head, whoever you may be. Now you may be reading this saying: "I like Maroon 5, I'm not a Metal Head." If you did in fact say those words, do me a favor and hang yourself, go ahead, I'll wait...Ok anyway. Anything that is destructive, ugly, painful and brutal can, and probably will be Metal. Example: Before there was life on this planet, the entire globe was a wasteland of fire and lava and gas where no living creature could ever possibly survive...that's pretty f*cking Metal. Lets fast forward several years to the Dinosaurs, an entire planet full of giant lizards that would seriously ruin your weekend. Bears? Lions? Sharks? not bad, but f*cking Dinosaurs?! Metal. Then there was something that actually killed all of them in a very brutal way...That is pretty f'in Metal. Fast forward a few more years...Humans...where to start? The Roman Coliseum? So Brutal. The French Revolution? Huge crowds gathering to watch people lose their heads in a large, brutally awesome machine called the guillotine, that is Metal, I pose this question, reader, were those people Metal Heads? I say Yes. When you watch the news, do you want to see the story about a firefighter saving a cat from a tree and giving it back to little Susie Rottencrotch? or do you want to see the brutal story of a deranged madman shooting babies at toys R us? I guarantee whether you like it or not, you will watch the story about death and hate, why? I believe Denis Leary said it best: "Murder tastes great." You will watch and follow the brutal story, and because of this, you are, in fact, a Metal Head, even if you are lame and listen to crappy music.

I say that Metal is more than the best Music ever created, it is forged from the ideology of brutality. Millions of years of this Earth's history formed aggression, hate, and despair, among other things, these feelings were taken out on instruments, and there you have it, the genre known as Heavy Metal was born, born from brutality.

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