Full Metal Fish Filets

So, I couldn't initially tell if I was sad or pumped when I found this. I know what you're thinking "Dave, this awesome! Why would you be sad"? I'll tell you why......I had this same idea.

The good news is this is still great and I give props to it's creators. When I make my Hardcore/Thrash version soon though....there will be no survivors.

In the news

http://revivl.com/?p=723

That is all.

ITT Tech is totally Metal

The following is an excerpt from a real conversation between two real people about a VERY REAL topic

KaptainKyle7 (12:03:56 PM): I just metaled out
KaptainKyle7 (12:04:00 PM): on a ITT tech commercial
KaptainKyle7 (12:04:09 PM): commercial about architecure
DaveyCaz (12:04:23 PM): what?
KaptainKyle7 (12:04:28 PM): exterior shot of a framed house "before this was a house.."
KaptainKyle7 (12:04:33 PM): IT WAS A GRAVEYARD

The Most Metal Cereal

Totally brutal cereal....that helps reduce your risk of heart disease. Looks like face pounding chug riffs and gnarly guitar shredding is good for your health after all. Especially when you compact it into a cereal.
The way it works is, it shocks the ever-loving shit out of your heart and basically one of two things happen. 1)You die or 2) Metamorphosis takes place in you heart, transforming it into pure steel. Pray the latter happens for if it does, you are now bulletproof, fireproof and pretty fucking metal

-Dave

Send To Phone

Beardmaster

So Kyle showed this to me recently. After checking it out, I decided to return the favor...to you!

Behold...BEARDMASTER

Props to the guys fro Day By Day productions. This shit was mad funny.

-Dave

To add to Dave's Awesome posted photos, I felt this needed recognition. I believe it embodies the idea that deep down at the core of every human being is a Metal Head trying to brutally and forcefully get out. This dude is clearly awesome, there is simply no way to deny that, and if you do, I will definitely fight you.

Awesome Imagery 8/6

Communism&m

Wtf?

Party Animal

I don't know what to say. This is just awesome

Mobile Bar

Bringing legitimacy to drinking and driving.

High Five: The most sacred of gestures

A long time ago, long before electricity was ever applied to a guitar, there was the most honored and revered gesture that one human could give unto another. The High Five.
Since then, the high five has trickled through the years, slowly losing it's once highly held elegance and mind blowing majestic qualities. There are those of us out there though, that wish to preserve the legend of the high five and restore it to its rightful place among all gestures. Those of us who stand up for their right to high five and bring it back from the blind spot of the public eye and into the spotlight of the worlds stage.

"Dave, how can high fives be anything more then childish gesture"?

I'm glad you asked me, you foolish inquirer. Don't worry, I'll feed you, baby birds.

What is a high five? I'd like to read a page from the James Owens Dictionary to answer that. James Owens, if you don't know him, is one of the most brutally rock and roll of us all. He listens to the rapture, he lives the life...he writes the book. The term "high-five" is defined as follows:"

High-Five: Verb. A visual agreement or greeting, Signifying success, accomplishment, excitement, baddassitude etc. It is a purely physical manifestation consisting of hands connecting at full arm extension, mid air, resulting in a loud snapping sound, which has been be confirmed as a sonic boom, and is often mistaken from afar as Thor's hammer"This can not be done mentally. It has to be physical, a mental high-five could be expressed precisely as a non-verbal agreement, and nothing more
*closes book*

Once again I would like to reiterate... this is a sacred exchange. All High Five's are recorded in the High Five archive. Each high five is time stamped and saved with a quick description (as to discern between all other high fives) and nestled into the library system. Eventually, these high fives can be redeemed for totally awesome things such as Laser cannons, Robot Tigers, Sweet Moon base hideouts and Hurricane generation machines.

In short, the high five is a sort of contractual agreement. It means "Yes, this is good. All of it. Moreover, I approve" and it can not be reversed upon. Penalty for doing so is not only punishable by death but by being thrust from a cannon into the sun. This is so the memory of you will be disposed of as well.

High fives are coming back people. Honor and cherish them because High Fiving is something you could remembered by. A great man once said "You are only as good as your last High Five". Of course.....that great man was me. I hold myself in high regards.

Keep shredding,
-Dave

The History of Metal pt I

What came first, Man or Metal?

This is a very interesting question for several reasons, one might say that Man came first and Metal wasn't started for many years. Others may say that there is actual metal in the Earth therefore Metal came first. To those who say the latter I say shut the f*ck up you smart ass before I actually kill you. Back to my point...Metal is more than a style, a look or a type of music, its also more than a compound forged by natural elements. I say Metal is all around us in everyday life whether you choose to accept this or not, you are a Metal Head, whoever you may be. Now you may be reading this saying: "I like Maroon 5, I'm not a Metal Head." If you did in fact say those words, do me a favor and hang yourself, go ahead, I'll wait...Ok anyway. Anything that is destructive, ugly, painful and brutal can, and probably will be Metal. Example: Before there was life on this planet, the entire globe was a wasteland of fire and lava and gas where no living creature could ever possibly survive...that's pretty f*cking Metal. Lets fast forward several years to the Dinosaurs, an entire planet full of giant lizards that would seriously ruin your weekend. Bears? Lions? Sharks? not bad, but f*cking Dinosaurs?! Metal. Then there was something that actually killed all of them in a very brutal way...That is pretty f'in Metal. Fast forward a few more years...Humans...where to start? The Roman Coliseum? So Brutal. The French Revolution? Huge crowds gathering to watch people lose their heads in a large, brutally awesome machine called the guillotine, that is Metal, I pose this question, reader, were those people Metal Heads? I say Yes. When you watch the news, do you want to see the story about a firefighter saving a cat from a tree and giving it back to little Susie Rottencrotch? or do you want to see the brutal story of a deranged madman shooting babies at toys R us? I guarantee whether you like it or not, you will watch the story about death and hate, why? I believe Denis Leary said it best: "Murder tastes great." You will watch and follow the brutal story, and because of this, you are, in fact, a Metal Head, even if you are lame and listen to crappy music.

I say that Metal is more than the best Music ever created, it is forged from the ideology of brutality. Millions of years of this Earth's history formed aggression, hate, and despair, among other things, these feelings were taken out on instruments, and there you have it, the genre known as Heavy Metal was born, born from brutality.

\m/

Welcome

Welcome, O' sailor of the Internet seas. Like any Internet truth seeker, you've stumbled upon us seeking knowledge. Knowledge that you will wield like a blade as you ride into the never ending combat of life. Lucky for you, you've stumbled across the greatest source of knowledge. You've found the greatest sharpening stone to run across the smooth steel of your brain and create an edge so sharp it can pierce not only a man...but smash a foes will to continue on with his plight. You have just stumbled upon our guide to all things BRUTAL.

This is the ramblings of three wise scribes who know the real truth. What about? EVERYTHING!

So take off your hat, warm your feet by the fire and peruse the material locked away in the depths of our knowledge. Don't get too comfortable though, for in this place you may come across some things that are impossible to mentally ingest, things that will both give you a boner one moment and then take your sight away in the next. Things that will change you forever. Things so awesome, that you will feel compelled to inflict their brutality upon the lives of the lame on a daily basis.

Things that are Metal, Hardcore and overall BORN FROM BRUTALITY.

Keep shredding,
-Dave